Why might two people choose not to be friendly towards each other? Might it be because they each instinctively feel that they probably wouldn't get along very well. Might one have inadvertently done or said something that the other took offence at? Or perhaps once, long ago, they had an easy-going interaction which deteriorated into an antagonistic one. Remember, any attempt to thaw out a frosty atmosphere, should ideally begin with at least some understanding of where the chill came from in the first place.When we over-react to trouble, we punish ourselves unnecessarily. We tend to see objectivity as a rare, precious commodity. We imagine how wonderful life might be if only we could stand further back and see things in a calm perspective. Yet we tell ourselves that this is a luxury we simply can't afford. Actually, you can't afford not to ease up! You've got to relax. You must take a stressful situation less seriously. Not only do you deserve this for the sake of your health, it's the only way you'll see how to properly solve a problem.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

You have become used to an uncomfortable climate. Overpowering experiences have caused you to expect difficulty at almost every turn and, though recently things have begun to look up, you have come to the conclusion that you should continue to be wary of trouble. You have made psychological provision for this, creating various personal defence mechanisms. Of course you want to be free. Yet what else do you want? Security? Comfort? Companionship? To enjoy any of these advantages it is necessary to sacrifice a little liberty. Routine comes at the expense of spontaneity. Relationship comes at the expense of independence. Life is a balancing act and we are all pivotal points (if things are calm) or desperate jugglers (if things are not). Right now, you are trying to reconcile what appear to be several mutually exclusive needs. Relax, it's not as big deal as you fear. .  It's time to remember that you are not some small cog in a giant machine. You are important. You are entitled t...
Read more
Image
If you want to lose weight, should you eat less or more? If you want to reduce stress, should you set a greater number of targets or a smaller one? If you want to feel less pressured, should you strive for higher standards or accept lower ones? Feel free to take on as much responsibility as you want. You are entitled to be ambitious and adventurous. But no matter how intense  life becomes, don't imagine that the way to lead an easier life involves first making your situation more difficult.   How much excitement do you want? How many intense emotional experiences do you feel you need? Do you have to get caught up in some great drama? Must you deal with problem after problem? Sorry to ask all these questions, but then questions themselves can be so very destabilising. As soon as we start to ask them, we begin to chip away at whatever is making us feel most stable and secure. You can't just ignore an unsatisfactory situation, but nor do you have to give it your full attention ri...
Read more