Different things upset different people. Your idea of a nightmare experience might be someone else's idea of a dream come true. Someone finds it hard to understand why you are unhappy about a situation. That's their problem. Nice though it might be for them to understand, your priority is to bring about an improvement, whether they understand or not. Indulge in a process of dialogue by all means, but don't be dissuaded from an important objective. If you know it matters, put it at the top of the list.
You have the ingredients you require but you need to put them together in the right order and proportion. There is, unfortunately, no definitive recipe. You will have to use your judgement, informed by your experience, intelligence and instinct. You can't hope to do any of this successfully if you're too nervous about making a mistake. You've got to go beyond your reticence and overcome your reluctance. The coming events offers you a rare chance to trust yourself and start cooking up a great success.
Sometimes we can be far too quick to judge ourselves. We look at our lives and decide that they are lacking some crucial factor. We conclude that this must imply a failure of some kind. Then, we secretly chastise ourselves for having made poor choices in the past. You can't be sure that your current situation represents 'the result of an error of judgement'. There may yet come a day when you feel glad that things unfolded as they did. Be a little suspicious of your suspicions and more trusting of what's in your heart..