Once bitten, twice shy.' That's what they say. And they say it for a good reason. But what if, in being so shy of that second bite, we take our attention away from other sets of teeth? Problems don't always come from the places where we expect them to emerge. Indeed, often our assumptions distract us from the issues we ought to be paying closest attention to. You are keen to avoid a repeat of an old conflict. Yet in giving a situation such a wide berth, might you be inadvertently wandering straight into different trouble?
If you want to lose weight, should you eat less or more? If you want to reduce stress, should you set a greater number of targets or a smaller one? If you want to feel less pressured, should you strive for higher standards or accept lower ones? Feel free to take on as much responsibility as you want. You are entitled to be ambitious and adventurous. But no matter how intense life becomes, don't imagine that the way to lead an easier life involves first making your situation more difficult. How much excitement do you want? How many intense emotional experiences do you feel you need? Do you have to get caught up in some great drama? Must you deal with problem after problem? Sorry to ask all these questions, but then questions themselves can be so very destabilising. As soon as we start to ask them, we begin to chip away at whatever is making us feel most stable and secure. You can't just ignore an unsatisfactory situation, but nor do you have to give it your full attention ri...
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