'Leopards,' they say, 'don't change their spots.' But are you now dealing with a leopard? You can remember when someone behaved badly or a situation became uncomfortable. You cringe at the memory and think you'd be a fool to forget this. So don't forget. But do forgive. Sometimes, people really do change. Even if they don't, you have to ask how much point there is in hanging on to an old resentment or fear. Will dropping it make a difference to anyone else? Maybe not. But it could heal a hurt in you! 
If you want to lose weight, should you eat less or more? If you want to reduce stress, should you set a greater number of targets or a smaller one? If you want to feel less pressured, should you strive for higher standards or accept lower ones? Feel free to take on as much responsibility as you want. You are entitled to be ambitious and adventurous. But no matter how intense life becomes, don't imagine that the way to lead an easier life involves first making your situation more difficult. How much excitement do you want? How many intense emotional experiences do you feel you need? Do you have to get caught up in some great drama? Must you deal with problem after problem? Sorry to ask all these questions, but then questions themselves can be so very destabilising. As soon as we start to ask them, we begin to chip away at whatever is making us feel most stable and secure. You can't just ignore an unsatisfactory situation, but nor do you have to give it your full attention ri...
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