PAINS

 I know that you don't have the positive resources required to fight back this avalanche of difficulties in which you are struggling and which ruins your life. You often have this strange impression that something or someone is continually trying to put a spoke in your wheels. Could you be the unfortunate victim of a bad spell, of a bewitchment, or even of a charm? In  your case one might ask the question. you still have secretly hidden inside you, all the huge possibilities required to face these problems and these difficulties. Despite that, you are still feeling this "violent block" that impede you from acting to obtain what you are entitled to expect from life great deceit that still affects you. It is that deception, that you may have long forgotten, this deception caused by a person you had so much affection for, you felt it as a betrayal, this deception that is still in you today.. all your life, like a wound that's still bleeding and is wide open. It hurts you feel bad even today, especially since you don't consciously relate to this painful past. And so there is a great bitterness that lays in you and invades your spirit.
You often feel deeply discouraged and courageous  you have the unpleasant feeling you have lost control of the events. You constantly hesitate regarding the conduct you have to take to face any difficulty, that is why it is important that you recover all your awareness, it is absolutely vital that your all of your spiritual strength is back to benefit from the wonderful moments that are coming to you.What is odd about you, is that there is in fact two things opposed to one another that drive you, one of them is constantly winning on the other and these two tendencies are conflicting, and that is blocking you from truly enjoying your life. Sometimes you seem to resign, you seem to let things happen in such a way that you can't handle the slightest difficulty. On the other hand, on other occasions you feel great, you have flashes of lucidity and you are truly aware of the magnificent life you could live if you knew how to seize all these occasions that are coming to you, all these chances that are passing nearby, you are at this very moment at a decisive turn in your life in the area of luck as well as in the area of feelings, but mostly in the area of money. 
This ancient pain, not healed, is like a deadly poison much more serious than one can imagine, a deadly poison that paralyzes you and annihilates your faculties against difficulties. This is one of the fundamental reasons of your lack of positive personal potential and this is probably the real cause of all your current problems.This profound deception has marked all your life, like a wound that's still bleeding and is wide open.